Christmas & Chemo

Christmas in TaylorTown was a hit.  Thanks to the generosity of family here, there and everywhere the children’s Santa list was met and they were very happy even though they couldn’t get everything on their list.  They seemed to understand that this year is a little different from previous Christmases. 

Thanks to The Mr’s job with Alaska Airlines (#iamalaska, #iflyalaska) we took the girls to the airport the day after Christmas and they flew to NC to spend a week or so with their East Coast family.  They were pretty excited to go or a visit and I can’t lie, they’ve been out of school for over a week and the silence in the house after they left is deafening!  It’s been so loud and the quiet is soothing, especially after my treatment.  They’ll be home sometime later this week or weekend but they’re having a blast with their cousins!  We miss them and can’t get over how quiet and calm it is around here without them!  Mostly missing them.  🙂

Another chemo treatment in the past.  After the last treatment I was really, really nervous about this one.  I KNOW that there is virtually zero chance of another reaction but from a patient standpoint I was still frightened a little.  I’m only human.  Colleen was my nurse and took very good care of me.  Just the right amount of interaction, no issues to report and I made it to the ferry in time in spite of my negative behavior. (And just to clarify, I wasn’t rude to anyone  —out loud or to their face—but I feel badly about it anyway so there it is).  The only issue I was displeased with is the fact that Colleen forgot to attach my Neulasta injection.  (It’s a time-release injection that provides cell-growing juice with the goal to help boost my immune system after destroying it?  That’s my understanding anyway)

So I will say that for a day that you’re getting toxic medications injected directly into the great vessels of your heart it was a really good day.  My mother went with me and we had a pleasant day getting along.  We met a nice couple from Bremerton, Jan & David.  They were behind us on the ferry unbeknownst to us and they recognized us somehow at the cancer center as we got off the elevator.  We didn’t talk to them again until we saw them much later in the day.  I won’t share her story here because it’s not mine to tell but my heart went out to her and I thank her for sharing a small part of her life with me.  That’s how this place (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) makes a person feel.  It’s a good place.  I’d love to call it my employer one day maybe!  I realize I have no way of finding her because I didn’t get her last name but I do know where she works!  Hmmm…I’m on it!

After arriving home (at around 8:15 pm) we found that the church brought dinner for us.  We weren’t expecting and it was a wonderful surprise of Shepard’s Pie (a favorite of Chris’).  Following a late supper,  The Mr and The Mom both went their separate ways to bed while I sat up with Colby for a couple of hours.  I’m so proud of the young man he is becoming.  He is so smart and talented.  He has aspirations and goals with an ability to make it happen.  During out talk I became overwhelmed by cancer and the potential of what it could rob from me.  I cried in front of him.  I HATE to put that on him.  I was overwhelmed with the idea of not being here to see this child of mine reach his full potential as a grown up, as a man, as a father, as an artist.  It renewed my determination to kick cancer right in its stupid face.  

I have similar thoughts about all my children but last night was just like a torpedo through my heart based on our conversation.  He’s 16 and is able to communicate his desires and dreams with the knowledge of what he has to do to get there—the girls change their desired adult jobs on the weekly with Sydney currently wanting to be a wizard and all wrapped up in the Harry Potter world (we love thinking outside the box but it’s only a tad realistic).  Annabeth I think wants to be a veterinarian who treats unicorns.  🙂 I hope I’m around for all of it…and if that unicorn farts rainbows I’m set for life!