An Overshare

Returning to work last week was a good thing.  I felt productive and glad to be out of the house and even more excited about earning money.  The first few days were pretty rough.  My stamina has decreased dramatically and I hated to admit that fact to myself but there it is.  Out of the 4 days I worked last week I only cried on the way home twice—out of fatigue, frustration, exhaustion and anger at the ability of my body to handle what I need it to handle.  This week I was to work 3 days.  I worked Monday and felt pretty good.  It was a reasonable work day and I was home around 3 pm.  Yesterday I volunteered to stay for the entire shift.  There was a procedure that was added on at the end of the day so I didn’t get home until after 6:00 pm (a 10.5 hour day).  

After work I came home and cooked supper and was in bed by 10 only to be up at 2:00 am sick to my stomach (it was empty and I’m out of Ritz crackers).  Adding insult to injury, I woke not only to nausea but seemingly endless episodes of diarrhea.  I don’t love diarrhea.  I mean, sure, sometimes one must make an eating decision based on the likelihood of diarrhea…that was not the case tonight.  I hate to even mention the hemorrhoids that have developed since starting chemo and are now bleeding but seeing as how I just did…let’s just say that things are not always sunny in TaylorTown.  

(Can one ‘band’  external hemorrhoids like they do with sheep testicles?  Asking for a friend)

Some people tell me that I overshare.  Especially on FB.  I disagree.  We may be different and have varying comfort levels as to what we share (or overshare) but it’s a personal thing and if I choose to vent something then there should be no issues with it.  99% of the time it’s just me ‘vague-booking’  and it really doesn’t matter who/what it’s about.  Please just read it and see how/if a generic statement applies in your own life.  You’ll either appreciate it or you won’t.  

UPDATE:  0700 the next morning…

I picked up my friend from the airport last night. I never was able to sleep during the day.  I spent most of the day in a strange mental fog of fatigue.  Probably shouldn’t have driven to the airport but I didn’t feel tired and I never once felt the need to nod off or “close my eyes for just a second”.  Made it home by 10-ish and after showing my friend her accommodations I promptly went to bed.  I did take a Klonopin that was prescribed for me.  (Yes mother, I know I should be taking it twice a day to help reduce my anxiety). And I slept.  I did wake up a few times but I was able to go back to sleep and I didn’t have to get up to use the bathroom.  My back side is thankful for that.  Here’s to a better day today.

My Happy:  Snapchat filters

12 Replies to “An Overshare”

  1. I’m glad you’re sharing the good the bad and the ugly. I hate that my nursing student status keeps me from spending more time with you, so I’m thankful I can keep up to date here on your blog. I hope chemo goes as well as possible today! I’m glad JL could be with you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes…band away! Seems like I taught you that?! Not completely sure. I would love a west coast trip. I’ll get in touch with you about that. Much love and as always, dks

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hang in there & keep sharing! I don’t mind, and love your honesty. We all know cancer & chemo are bad..knowing what it puts you through is the part we don’t all know. I’m just sorry it’s been horrible, and hope that it won’t continue to be so bad. Love ya & hoping for better days.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I often think I over share as well. However, I look at it as an education to those in our 👟. Sometimes you have to share the good, bad, and ugly to get to the beauty at the end! Keep up your sharing, 🥰.

    Liked by 1 person

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